Why it's great to watch these guys lose

7. Phil Helmuth

I would like to have Phil Helmuth losing poker hands playing on a loop in my house, office and car so any time I need a little pick-me-up I can just glance up at the screen and see the brat throwing a tantrum.

How is it that no one punches him in the face? Where's Ron Artest when you need him?

After his flameout in the 2005 World Series of Poker, Helmuth unleashed his usual class-free, profanity-laced "analysis" of what had just happened. Some of his more memorable lines were: "These are the worst players in the world;" "This guy can't spell poker;" and "If it wasn't for luck, I'd win a hell of a lot more of these tournaments."

Well, then, thank God for luck because nobody, I mean nobody, wants to watch this guy win.