ITWASSOOTED: comedians for america

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

comedians for america

comedians for america

China Invades Iran!
"China Invades Iran, Cites WMD's, Need for a Stable Communism in the Region."

How stupid does our rhetoric sound if you just replace America with China, and Democracy with Communism? If China invaded Iran to put a communist government in place – which, according to our logic of pre-emptive attack and implementation of stable governments they surely have the right to do – it would trigger WW III. The Bush Corporation would implement marshal law for America's own good, declare us a dictatorship, and send the entire population to war.

We artificially imposed our system onto Iraq ostensibly because we were scared of what they might do if they continued as a dictatorship, and because we think that Democracy will stabilize the Middle East, and eventually the world.

Why do we think that? Because we're holy crazy. We’re messianic. We believe our own fairy tale about how Democracy made us transcendent on the planet, rather than our American kingdom being a lucky outcome of geography (we're too far from most places to be easily invaded) and abundant natural resources and our own self/ecological imperialism (once we cut down our trees, our rainforests, we found it pretty easy to build factories and roads). We think Democracy is an unquestioned good, and that everyone should have it, even it means we have to first kill a certain number of them to get it into place.
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